


Socialiteweight

by brawltogethernow



Category: DCU, Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Humor, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Secret Identity, identity reveal fail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23192665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brawltogethernow/pseuds/brawltogethernow
Summary: "Dick Grayson," said Robin."...Paris Hilton," said Beast Boy.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Garfield Logan
Comments: 20
Kudos: 281





	Socialiteweight

**Author's Note:**

> Internet's out, time to post phonefic on slowed down data.

Robin grit his teeth. "Dick Grayson," he said.

Beast Boy blinked twice, confused, but willing to play along. He nodded sagely and offered, "Paris Hilton."

Robin stared at him like he had gone crazy.

Rude, _he_ wasn't the one listing random celebrities! "Uh, Abigail Disney?"

"...Huh?" Robin finally said, sounding baffled.

Beast Boy tilted his head and squinted at him. Robin had been pacing around and around the Tower roof for this conversation, but Beast Boy had plopped down midway through and was currently holding the soles of his boots together with his hands. He rocked backward and forward once. "I thought we were naming rich people."

Robin stopped pacing and eyeballed him, like he needed to stand still just to process this. Man, Beast Boy had never even been to normal school, but Robin could make him feel like he'd failed a test. Robin's arms were still folded right to his chest, his shoulders up stiff and uncomfortable and slowly disappearing into his cape. Now the top of his mask began to draw slowly downward. The intense eyebrows interacted with a set of instincts honed from needing to be hyper-attuned to his teammates in battle and made Beast Boy start to panic. "Or, uh...is it just airheaded socalites?" he tried, squeaky.

Robin bristled for some reason. " _What?!_ "

Oh, that was a yelp. Beast Boy had an easy time driving Robin to yelping, but he usually knew how he'd done it.

"Wait, hang on!" he said, waving his hands around in front of himself defensively. "I can be serious, I swear!" He started counting off on his fingers. "You said," here he affected a gruff impression of their leader, " _You have to talk to someone about whatever's bothering you, it's AFFECTING the TEAM—_ and I said I'd tell you what was bothering me if you told me your identity, and you said okay, which I didn't think you would do at all, dude, I was just trying to get out of the conversation, it was a joke! But maybe your answer was also a joke, because then you said a famous dude's name, annnnnnd yeah I don't get it. Aheh. Sorry."

He turned into a donkey, still in a broken tailor's seat, long enough to bray apologetically, to hopefully lighten things up while also acknowledging he'd made an ass out of himself, and then flickered back to normal.

Robin had known Beast Boy far too long to be put off by this, but still looked a mix of baffled and insulted. Weird. Dick Grayson was a Gotham celebrity; maybe Robin had rescued him before? Maybe Robin was Grayson's friend and that was why he was insulted? It wasn't like Beast Boy had dissed _Robin_ or anything or waaaaaaiiii _iiiit_ a second.

"...Wait."

Robin rolled his eyes, or anyway strongly indicated he was rolling his eyes via body language, so hard his head lolled, looking exasperated.

"Are you saying you're...?"

Robin huffed and spun around, apparently having hit his limit on meaningful talking for the moment, and started stomping back to the door leading inside, cape whipping up behind him.

" _Wait_ , does that mean _Batman_ is—" Beast Boy scrambled upright in such a rush he stumbled over his own feet when he started to run after Robin. "Hey! You come back here!" He tripped again, arms pinwheeling. "Or at least wait up!"


End file.
